This gender had a conversation with Satan — and had a deal — when God Himuselfu failed to agree with Satan. The devil has always been cunning and sly. He approached Eve when Adam was asleep.
But that day, you are not asleep. Just lying. You are chilling with the daughter of Eve, cuddled up. Her on your chest; your hand on her butt, your phone the source of entertainment. Both of you laughing like two hungry hyenas at the shenanigans on the screen.
A notification pops up. ‘Hey love, you have been silent today, are you alright’. It will seem to hang there for forever. Forever is 5 seconds. The devil has checked in. When it finally disappears, it goes with the forever you had promised her. Because all of a sudden the air is too heavy. None of you willing to breath.
You want to say something. Offer an unsolicited explanation. But the immediate thing that comes to your mind is ‘Babe, this is not my phone’.
After a pyrrhic minute, she pushes the duvet to the side then disappears to the bathroom. You are dying to catch the expression on her face but you don’t. And so you curse in your head a million times. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! You have been planning to disable those notifications. Damn.
After a while, you hear the toilet flash. The door opens. There she is. Babe.
“I have to leave,” she hisses.
Then just like the mumu you were always born to be, you say something so uncanny, showing exactly why the devil approached the woman instead.
“Kwani what’s up, si I thought you were to stay for the weekend. You just got here.”
– By Ken Muimmi