The day was February 20th 2016. 12.40-something. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was in a good mood, I had just partaken some palatable hors d’oeuvres—chapati na ndengu na kafiriri.
I was going for an afternoon siesta with a kafresha at my rented apartment at Talai Centre, where the doyens of political power brokers cocooned. After being a journalist for so long I had a few HELB coins here and there for/from my endeavours.
Those days if you treated me normally I would treat you abnomaree.
My antagonist at that time, & protagonist of this tale, David Sanchez was with ‘goons’ including the entertainment captain. The Real Comrades of Moi University.
Those days, in Woi University, we sat in front during class but always at the back during exam time. The days we were awarding political seats based on who you know – and I knew a lot of people.
Sanchez saw me then Victor Brian said, “Si this is that ka-guy who called you, you know ***###**”
Let’s just say those boys’ relationships with the gym was working out. Pandemik.
See back then I had a few choice words. I was young and my pen was bloody. I left a trail of discussion in my wake—from Papa to Edu Moen who in the spirit of full disclosure was my favourite—to Sanchez. From my Hostel H room 15, I divulged state secrets and shook governments à la Alex Ndiritu.
Before Edgar Obare, there was Eddy Ohare.
Did Sanchez slap me? Can you touch lighting? Let’s just say he was aiming for my hand but his phalanges met my facial follicles.
All I remember is calling my class rep Edwin Nalulasi who went ahead to sermon the battalion. Marvin ‘The Orator’ Gakunyi , Daniel ‘Respect’ Kimathi, Emmanuel ‘Mr Cool’ Yegon, Stephen ‘Relax’ Nzioka, Tom ‘Mandazi’ Mutati, Geoffrey ‘Sauti Ya Dhahabu’ Jonerwa, etc. showed up at my house, mourning more than the bereaved. Suddenly, I am informed Ashioya has been slapped. Was I going to ‘correct’ them? Mimi nani!
Sanchez had threatened a chameleon with colours.
It was sad. See I liked Sanchez. I still do. I think he has really nice beards unlike me and his motto was ‘Back to basics.’ Plus, he’s a really cool guy. I mean how can you not love that guy?
I was coerced and dressed up, fed (thank you) and taken to the police. To report Sanchez. The dean was called and there was a protest in school—journalists are being harassed.
The dean called me, asked me to apologise and I told him I will think about it. Where I come from we don’t do apologies bwana dean. He can pick his apologies where Kisii men left their deep voices.
We suspended peace, goons were unleashed. But that night ladies offered to come take care of me. Kumbe ladies love drama tu. Po!
Campus politics was the epitome of petty. I don’t understand how Papa never beat me up aki. I messed with guys who were really scary! But aaaiii had receipts for days. I still have a story which I will publish only once I secure asylum in Jamaica. With Wabosha of course.
There’s no peace without war.
So did I call Sanchez ***###**? The answer should be visible to the blind and audible to the deaf.
But did Sanchez slap me?