By:Ken ‘The Don’ Muimmi
You have just finished watching a full season of The Blacklist. You sit there fantasizing about your life as a bigwig in the criminal underworld. You do not last long because your phone buzzes and reality hits. It’s your friend James. Or ‘Boyie’ as the squad secretly discovered the mum calls him. He must be inviting you for a drink which you are not in the mood for, so you ignore.
As you wake up from the couch to go clear the dishes stack up in the sink, the phone rings. James. Again? Sawa.
“You know if it helps I did not ignore your first call because I was cheating on you…”
“Broo…” he croons.
“Why are you whispering?”
“If anyone calls, say I was with you jana,”
“Ati? To who, wait, what’s this abou…”
The line dies. Motherfucker! You warm some water in the kettle as you sort the utensils out of the sink. You pour half from the kettle into a basin in the sink and add cold water just so its lukewarm. You hate washing utensils but warm water makes it bearable. Just as you are about to dip in the spoons your phone buzzes.
You wipe your hands off your jeans and grab it. It’s Shiko, James’ girlfriend. Aaah, so this is what it’s about.
“Sheeemeeeejiiiiiiiii,” you gas her up.
“Niko poa…quick question..”
“Were you hanging out with James last evening?”
‘Aaah, erm, jana, yes yes yeah,’
“Why, did he not get home?”
“No, because I just called Fifi and she says you spent the whole day at hers and James did not come over.”
“Oh, that’s definitely interesting, look Shiks, can I call you back, I have a boiling pot and it’s about to spill over..”
Before she can utter another word, you end the call. Looks like his goose is cooked. Too bad. You can only imagine the conversation on the other end. The streets are about to lose an important one.
Your phone buzzes. Not again.
Oh. It’s Fiona, your girlfriend.
“Did you just tell Shiks you were with James yesterday?”
“Erm babe, I can explain..”
Your brain breaks. The bro code is about to break you. “Bro-ke code”. This was the most important group work since they built the pyramid. But then a don never explains himself. At least Reddington never did. On second thoughts, Red never kept a girlfriend. Or met Fifi.
“Babe, I’m waiting…” she hisses.
What would Reddington do? What would you do? So I did what the streets always taught me.
“Fifi, who is Kevo Gym?”
“Babe, I can explain..”