Hypothetically, what is the scientific period allowed of keeping a boxer?
Do you use till it is rugged and torn just like your love life or do you get a new one every three months…just like your love life?
More than 1 in five men say they wear the same boxers two days in a row. Haha. Two? I am just above the world average – just like in my job résumé – I like to give 110%.
Hypothetically, let’s ay this is my boxer. I am Luhya so the wear and tear is out of air pollution which has been proven to accelerate degeneration. And since I have a lot of love for the Kisii man, yes, this also serves as lingerie. It makes me feel sexy. I refuse to spend too much time explaining that because you, as a reader, deserve better than that. #NotAllMen
Ladies, these lawyers you see driving around in fancy Mercedes? Shida tupu. Kwanza with the way lawyers lie – those boxers can give you leprosy. (Sexually or otherwise).
You may be walking in town with a man in full suit and a bling on and kumbe inside he is in tatters. But everyone has made peace with their choices in life.
The Underwear Society agrees with me that the boxer is to the man what a black bra is to the woman. Prove me wrong. Do you know what beats a dress with pockets? A boxer with gaddamn pockets!!!! Boxer with pockets. Jesus Christ (can I use Him here??) Imagine that!
Boxers are the chosen one. They perfectly blur the line between “he didn’t think about his underwear choice at all” and “he thought about his underwear choice too much.” Besides I have other things to think and spend my money on.
Babes, why do you think your man always insists on switching off the lights? You are not ugly sis – he is saving you from an eyesore. You know what I mean.
And you know the most embarrassing part? I – hypothetically – bought it in Gikomba circa 2015 so it probably has a few years mileage from its Chinese owners (atchuuuuuu!!).
Unless you’ve slept with me – which is a surprise you’re reading this because you’re blocked – there is no way to know this is my boxer.
I bet this innerwear masterpiece has been to so many job interviews. In fact, hypothetically – if this boxer was mine, and my boss was reading this, I’d want him to know the day he hired me I had just worn this boxer. I am tempted to call it my lucky boxer.
This boxer was there through my first – and that other je ne sais quoi that was Sharon. Guess who never left? Yeap. That’s right. This bad guy. It has outlasted 4 girlfriends, one crazy fling, a Kilimani experiment and your best friend’s mum. You found this boxer here and you will probably leave it here.
And for those people at the middle row, yes I also have white boxers which I save for special occasions.
You know what? Hypothetically speaking I could be typing while wearing this boxer right now. Mph.
You have served, today you retire. Go thee well, my friend.
Anyway the only reason I am showing this, is to prove to you the lengths I am willing to go just to be with something. Or someone. In other words, I am a Keeper.