With lawless wit, he surveys my legs like a realtor, picks out a thin stick of Tomba, and says this one will cost you nothing. It costs me 50 bob but he assures me the person who will land on my path will cry.
I hold the gunia makonge, and start with the legs because they are farthest away from my heart, the warmest part of my body (awwwww). When the water slaps my thigh I can feel my masculinity ebb way.
I have been in a serial monogamous relationship with this rolling pin. I would give anything, including my left testicle (it’s bigger) to have it back.
No one trusts the ‘in-out’ toilet user. There’s no way they did the clean-up job properly. These are the same people who call chips, ‘fries’. And end every call with “Cheers.”
He had more red flags than a Chinese communist party. Love may be blind, but lust is both blind and idiotic.
You know the difference between an African mother and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
“I think it’s great the way you’ve followed your dreams!” people will tell me, which is code for “Having money isn’t for everyone.”